This Season

0716 rowan 2

Getting a puppy in the summer was certainly a good idea, weather-wise.

Sanity-wise, maybe not.

I feel like a frayed wire.

Jasper is on graveyard shift for the fourth or fifth summer in a row.  He’s constantly tired when he’s awake and, more often than not, falls asleep for a quick nap in the morning before going to sleep for the “night” in the afternoon.  So, he’s out.

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The girls are at my feet, constantly.  They are bickering, constantly.  High-pitched shrieks of “I’m telling mom!” ring throughout the house, constantly.  Screeches.  Howls of outrage tempered only temporarily with good-natured sibling camaraderie.  And then back to brawling.

And, then, the puppy.  Doing all the things puppies do.  Barking, chewing, biting, running, chewing, chewing, chewing, peeing, pooping, eating, running, barking, growling, nipping, chewing, running, peeing.  On and on and on.

I feel like I alone am doing all the parenting and puppying around here.  I am in charge of teaching and correcting all these young creatures from the time I get up to the time I go to sleep.  And all the time in between that, too.  I am so tired, some physically but mostly mentally and emotionally, that I just feel completely drained.  Empty.  I have nothing in my reserves right now and when Jasper or the girls come to me for something, as they inevitably do, for sympathy or affection or whatever, I just have nothing to give.

If I were a good mom and a good blogger, this is where I would write some uplifting thoughts about this season of my life.  But right now I feel like neither of those things.  Right now I am neither of those things.

Right now I am simply trying to get through yet another day.

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10 thoughts on “This Season

  1. rabbitpatchdiary.com says:

    oh dear, I know about that but the truth is, your drling children will NEVER be in a placethat anybody can ALWAYS give to them-in some way you are teaching them independence even on a small level right now-and that is a gift. Now the puppy, well that will let up at some point-I follow the “dog whisperer” strictly and have had excellent results-I know you have done the homework for your particular breed so I expect you too will do quite well . . .mothering and training!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. farmkids8 says:

    When I feel that way I decide I need a little “mommy time.” Take an hour or two to get away for a bit and do something for yourself. You will be doing yourself, your kids, and the puppy a favor by taking care of yourself and will be able to give them more attention when you’re not feeling as frayed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ruthsoaper says:

    You are not a bad mom or a bad blogger. You are simply human and what you are feeling is normal. I remember when my daughters were young telling them that I was going to change my name and not tell anyone what it was. Now they are all grown up and living on their own and I really miss them.
    I don’t know much about your family but maybe try some team building activities with the kids. They have to work together to accomplish a task and when it is completed without you having to intervene they get rewarded, or if they come to tell you something about the other one they first have to tell you three good things about her before they can tell you the bad thing. Engage them in conversation about the good and maybe they will forget about the bad. Sorry if I am giving unsolicited advice but as a mom that’s what I tend to do.
    Anyway hang in there and remember if it doesn’t kill you it will only make you stronger.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. eternalbloomfarm says:

    Totally understand….my hubby has worked graveyards going in 4yrs now. You are SO not alone. I feel like a single parent a lot. I also homeshool my 9 and 15yr old daughters on top of normal housework and animal/garden chores. You are an awesome mom and I am really enjoying your blog….as you have seen my blog has slowed down, lack of energy and time does that. I have no advice, just know you aren’t alone.❤

    Like

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